A good laugh can cleanse the soul and brighten the heart

God's Word might be more valuable than you think. . .

    Pastor Tim of the Lutheran Church and Pastor Larry of the local Community Church were in a Christian bookstore recently.  Pastor Tim was sampling some new music in the music department while Pastor Larry was looking over the newest study Bible editions in the Bible and Reference section.  Pastor Tim came over to where Pastor Larry was and noted that he was quite engrossed in a new study Bible version that had just arrived.  Noting the delight with which Pastor Larry had with this Bible Pastor Tim noted that his family used to have an old German edition Bible.  Pastor Larry's eyes lit up as he inquired about this old Bible that Pastor Tim's family may have tucked away somewhere.  "Do you know the publisher of the German Bible?"  Pastor Larry excitedly asked Pastor Tim.  "Well, lemme see", Pastor Tim said with a look of thoughtful reflection.  "It was of course some German name, hum. . Guta, no, Guteb, no that's not it."  Pastor Larry with a look of utter astonishment asked, "it wasn't a Gutenburg Bible was it?"  "That's it!" Pastor Tim exclaimed!  "Oh my, do you still have it?" Pastor Larry with a trembling voice asked.  "O I don't think so, it was a long time ago when I was little kid that I last remember seeing it at our grandparents.  When they moved out of their house I think it was lost or thrown away."  With disbelief Pastor Larry said, "your family lost a Gutenburg Bible!  It could have been worth thousands, maybe even a million dollars on the collector's market! "Oh not this one", Pastor Tim replied, "It was pretty well ruined."  "Whatever do you mean?" Pastor Larry asked.  "Well, somebody had scribbled all over in it, some guy named Martin Luther."

You Know You Are A Lutheran If. . .

You wholeheartedly believe the cardinal rule: Lutherans don't sit in the front two pews.

You know what a flannelgraph board is.

You judge the purity of a congregation by the color of its hymnal.

You understand the meaning of "Bringing In The Sheaves" even though you had a baler.

You see nothing wrong with serving finger sandwiches after a missionary slide show about Christianity's effect on cannibalism.

You secretly wonder just who goes downtown to the local liquor store to buy the communion wine.

You know that a soft-covered hymnal is really just a song book.

Question:  How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer:  CHANGE??!!

Church Bloopers

A pastor was happily telling his congregation about the church's new public address sound system.  He explained that the microphone and wiring were paid for with church funds.  Then he added, "the loudspeaker was donated by a member of our congregation in memory of his wife."

A mother didn't feel well one Sunday so she sent her little girt to church and told her to be sure to remember the text of the sermon.  When she came home, the little girl said, "the minister said, don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."  Perplexed, she finally phoned the minister who said his text was "Fear not, they comforter will come."

Revered Haggerty, a respected church leader, arrived in a large city to deliver a series of speeches.  At a banquet the first evening, he noticed some reporters in the audience.  Because he wanted to use some of the stories he told that night in his speeches the next day, he asked the reporters to omit them from their articles.  One article that came out the next day, written by a cub reporter, concluded with this line, "Reverend Haggerty also told a number of stories that cannot be printed."

"Be grateful for all that the good Lord has done for you," the minister told his flock.  "Surely each of us should give one-tenth of all we earn to the Lord."  "Amen!" shouted a particularly fervent church member.  "I say let's raise it to one-twentieth!"

You Better Be Ready!

Frank and Ralph were best friends zealous baseball fans.  They had an agreement that whoever died first would find out if there was baseball in heaven.  Lo and behold Frank died and went to heaven.  As per their agreement he got a special permission from God to let his friend Ralph know about whether or not there was baseball in heaven.  Frank came to Ralph in a vision which Ralph was very pleased and encouraged by.  "Tell me", Ralph inquired, "is there baseball in heaven?"  "Well", Frank began, "I got some good news and some other news about that."  "What's the good news", Ralph asked.  "There is indeed baseball in heaven", Frank replied.  "Oh that is good news!" Ralph exclaimed.  "You said you had other news, what might that be?"  Frank looked at his earthly friend with a wry smile, "Ralph, you're pitching tomorrow night!"

Check Back for more jokes and cartoons to tickle your funny bone